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Sure:
GIVE ME THE NAME OF ONE OF MY CHARACTERS (PAST, PRESENT OR PSL!), AND I WILL TELL YOU THREE REASONS WHY IT WOULD BE TERRIBLE TO DATE THEM, HAVE SEX WITH THEM, AND/OR BE IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM.
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SEX: Alice is probably pretty naive about these things, at least to start. She’s not the type to seek out this kind of information, and it’s not like she’s a muggle in an era where they just discuss these things on tv. She may have some conversations with her very close girlfriends, but that’s about it. Even later on, she’d still be pretty vanilla. But like, good vanilla? French vanilla? But if kinky crazy sex is your thing, keep moving.
LONG-TERM: Being with Alice long term, particularly living with Alice, means seeing a lot more of her Type A tendencies. I think, because she puts her best face forward in public, she probably expresses a lot of her stress at home. So, she’s less perfect-wife-and-career-woman-Alice and more, “You’re loading the dishwasher wrong. Why are you putting that there? Why are you doing that? Just stop, I’LL DO IT.”
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FLINT
SEX: Flint thinks of sex as like a recreational sport. It’s a fun activity, and he’s open to trying new things! He's enthusiastic and athletic, and probably a pretty good lay depending on what you're expecting, but if you’re looking for any kind of intimacy, that’s probably not what you’re going to get. Go elsewhere for cuddling. Also, he tends to be as self-centered in bed as anywhere else, and he’s more focused on whether he’s enjoying himself. If you want him to do something for you, he’s more than willing to do it, but he’s not going to think of it on his own, so you’re going to have to come right out and tell him. But at least he takes orders well.
LONG-TERM: Hahaha so many reasons. There’s the obvious issues of dating a Victor. Like, I think Flint is pretty good at putting forth a face of being Perfectly Fine, and has mastered Two bravado, because having Issues is for little outlier bitches, not Careers, but of course that’s bullshit. So, in a long term relationship, those issues are going to come into play, but he’s not going to want to talk to you about them at all or deal with them in any healthy way. Fun!
That aside, Flint isn’t great with commitment. Surprisingly, it’s not being a one-woman-man that’s the trouble, he’s okay with that when he’s really into someone, it’s more understanding that once you’re in a relationship, you’re in it all the time. He’s not reliable. Like, he’ll just wander off for a month without telling you that he’s leaving, where he’s going, when he’ll be back, and not understand why that might piss someone off. What the hell, he brought you a souvenir from his adventure, what’s the big deal?
He also has the emotional intelligence of like, a toddler. He won’t know you’re upset with him unless you directly tell him or are just screaming/crying, then he still won’t understand why you’re upset (even if it should be obvious) unless you tell him, and he still doesn’t actually want to talk about it/try to correct it. Other than fighting about whatever it is (the closest he gets to “working through it”), his game plan is just to wait until it’s not an issue anymore.
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Also HEY YOU!
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BRANDON
SEX: Brandon is very ENERGETIC but ultimately selfish, so it’s more about him than his partner, particularly if it’s just a one night stand or someone he hasn’t dated very long (which is most often the case). He’s also all about the SHOW - not faking, just that HE’S very loud, and if you’re not very loud too, why not? What’s wrong? Like, if his neighbors don’t complain, what was the point?
LONG-TERM: Okay, he’s heterosexual, but there are definitely rumors to the contrary, and in dating him, there’s gonna be rumors that it isn’t a ~real~ relationship, so there’s that to deal with. Plus, his parents are famous, and he aspires to be famous, so he LOVES the limelight, and will absolutely drag you into it too, whether you like it or not.
There’s also the fact that he’s dramatic, self-centered, loud, has to always be the center of attention, and is a spoiled rich brat. He may randomly buy you nice gifts just because he wants to, but he’s not going to remember any anniversaries. He’s used to not needing to work hard for things, and that attitude would carry over into a relationship. But at least he’s fun?
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I hope to maybe someday get to play an older version of him, see how that shakes out and what he looks like as an adult.
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SEX: I think Dam would really want to be a good lover, and he’s a SCIENTIST at heart, so he’s not embarrassed to treat this like an academic interest and do some good old fashioned research. Which, some people might find weird in and of itself. Also? Some things you read about sound great, but do not work out at all in reality. He’s okay with that, sometimes experiments fail! But it might get weird.
LONG-TERM: Again, the reality with a dead wife aside, because that’s a whole different slew of reasons. Dam is basically a mad scientist. He wakes up early and stays up late, if he goes to sleep at all. He forgets to eat. He forgets his significant other. Anyone he was in a long term relationship with would either have to be okay with always coming in second to his work, him being tired, malnourished, and his moods depending largely on the success of his experiments OR they have to be prepared to totally mother him/boss him around/demand his attention/force him to go to bed/etc.
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MADDY
Dating her, I think you’d be inundated with NERD STUFF and MUGGLE CULTURE (if you’re a witch, obv, though she doesn’t exclusively date magical people). She wants to go on a date to see STAR WARS at the movies or something like that. And she is totally fine with having to explain things, and will patiently explain and re-explain Doctor Who mythos, but she doesn’t have as much patience with just not liking it. And saying it’s stupid? Will cause a fight.
SEX: Okay I think, like, Maddy is a perfectly acceptable fuck. Like, all that relationship weirdness from before is just not there in the bedroom. She’s comfortable being a lesbian, she’s comfortable with her body, she’s comfortable with your body, it’s all good. She’s not into super crazy shit, but she’s not a prude either. She is very affectionate/a big cuddler, so if you’re not into that, she’d be noticeably disappointed.
I think the hardest thing would be making her find time for it? Like, she works all the time, then comes home with a stack of case files. When she does take a half hour of free time, she’s probably so exhausted that all she could do is like veg on the couch and watch some stupid tv show and keep dozing off.
LONG-TERM: As previously mentioned, any significant other is going to have to deal with Maddy’s dedication to JUSTICE!!! AKA she’s something of a workaholic.
Also, at some point, a SO is going to discover that Maddocks have tempers. She basically takes almost all negative emotions and pushes them deep down into a little ball until they explode. The only negative emotion she can really effectively express is anger, so she tends to let the other ones just fester into anger. She’d never hit her significant other, but she will break like every mug and plate in the house, and that would be at least alarming. I think she had this tendency even as a kid, but finding out she was a witch made it SO MUCH WORSE because you can just wave a wand and everything is repaired? So I think she considers WRECKING THINGS as a good cathartic release when lbr it is probably not the best emotional outlet.